Dave's Daze

Just For Laughs comedy festival and (self) promotion

2007-07-16T23:50:00.000-05:00

It was a surprise to learn last week that the Homegrown Show at the Just For Laughs festival is sold out. In the past couple years, I bought tickets the day of, yet this year they were gone by last Thursday, before the festival even began.
I’m not heartbroken about it. There are far better (and pricier) shows that I can now justify shelling out the bucks for.

To be honest, the Homegrown Show is a bit of a glorified open-mic night, with similarly uneven performances. The competition aspect of it is pretty silly since comedy is so subjective. (Someone ‘wins’ a television special; a runner-up wins, um, status as runner-up? I don’t know if they win anything, maybe a few hundred bucks?) The winner and runner-up were usually at best the third ‘best’ comic of the night, I think; in fact, most were middle-of-the pack. Again, subjective, but I look for pulling off original material, or even a near-solid set with really edgy stuff, not crowd reaction alone.

That’s not the stuff that comes neatly and safely t.v.-ready, of course. Generally, the winners and first-losers were chosen mostly by reputation -often they already had t.v. exposure, hence my previous sarcasm with ‘wins’. I know I’m not the only comic with that view of the winners, and it’s pretty much universally agreed amongst us that competitions are dumb.

But hey, that’s why comics worship Bill Hicks, while the masses gobble disposable nonsense like Dane Cook (”The comic for people who think Good Charlotte is punk” -beautifully put, Nick Carter).

Nonetheless, I enjoy the Homegrown Show because of it’s unevenness, which makes the evening more interesting, and because it provides a sampler of breaking comics from across Canada, many of whom will be returning to the fest and having “Comedy Now” specials in years to come (speaking of which, tune in for my Ottawa buddy Wafik Nasralla this Sunday).

Oh, and I like that it stirs my sense of profound moral outrage.

Since you and I won’t be seeing it this year, though, you can read about the Montreal stage of the Homegrown competition here (with a bonus dose of moral outrage, natch)

My theory of why the show sold out so quickly this year is that Myspace and Facebook have made everyone their own promoter. Comics all have their own artist-specialty MySpace pages, and once everyone realized no-one reads (or even bother sending) bulletins anymore, everyone moved to Facebook, where every virtually comic has set up ‘fan club’ groups from whence they can advertise their shows far and wide.

This is a great thing on the whole, with the caveat that comics who are still doing mostly (or even entirely!) open mics at this stage of their ‘career’, have NO business with such self-indulgent tripe (the fan groups, that is, but I still join ‘em, so as not to hurt anyone’s feelings *sigh*, especially since I’m a bit of a promoter too now).

The growth of the internet has made everything easier, and may save some forest growth too. When I promoted comedy stages in Ottawa about 4 years ago, I still postered for hours each week, and when I began my own stage, I thought I was really cutting edge having an email list (in fact, some comics thought that was silly, but then again, they still live in Ottawa).

I’m starting a comedy stage at the end of the month, Comedy On St. Laurent, and I plan to use Facebook as my main avenue of promotion. Of course, I’ll press the flesh with flyers too, but postering is a waste of time, energy, money, and paper.

Has this whole post been a slow, somewhat melodramatic (the outrage) build to a shameless plug for my new comedy stage?

Yes. Yes it has.

Comedy On St. Laurent
3 Minots, 3812 St. Laurent above des Pins
Every 2nd Sunday starting July 29th, 9 p.m.

$10 pitchers! $2.50 shots! only $5 cover!
Opening show headlined by JFL vet Mike Paterson!
See ya there! (not at the Homegrown Show)

The new Beatles record....

2007-02-07T20:37:00.000-05:00

I was skeptical. Who couldn't be? A new Beatles record -sounds like a cash cow. Then I heard George Martin was involved, then it came out and got great reviews from everyone -and I mean even those cynical free indie weeklies.

"Love" It's fantastic. Like putting on the most trippy Beatles mixed tape you can imagine. Slow songs, rock songs, earlier songs, later songs, songs written by all four of the guys, all cheek-to-jowl and often mixing right into one another. Sometimes alternate versions too.

I know, this record needs another plug like I need a whole in the head. Hmmm, maybe that would help me in some regards... er, but I digress. This record is so awesome, pick it up.

Lorne "Gump" Worsley and the meaning of greatness

2007-02-06T04:17:00.000-05:00

This was originally written as a sister piece to my Dryden article on indyish. Unfortunately, it wasn't deemed 'indyish' (indie arts), so the site editor didn't post it. So that it doesn't go to waste, here it is (I think it's a better article than the original Dryden piece too). Even if you don't know hockey (dear British readers), you can hopefully relate to some of this...

Last March 11, on the morning of the evening his # 5 was to be lifted to the rafters in Montreal, Bernard "Boom Boom" Geoffrion passed away at a hospital in Atlanta.

In an eerie echo, Lorne "Gump" Worsley passed away Friday, January 26th, just days before the number of another Canadien goaltending great is retired (Ken Dryden on January 29th).

Although they essentially followed each other in the Habs' storied crease, in many ways, Gump and Dryden were opposites.

Dryden was the man of intellectual quotes, a future author. Gump was the man with a sharp wit and quip, as this article or the obituary on the front page of Sunday's The Gazette describes.

Dryden was a towering 6'3" athlete (in an era when goalies were not generally that big). Gump was an average, even pudgily built man.

Dryden had only an 8 season career, dedicating himself to his studies before, and professional career after hockey.
Gump played 22 years in the NHL, travelling though semi-pro and farm team stops in, among other places, St. Paul, Saskatoon, and Vancouver, then playing ten years with the shoddy Rangers, before winning the Stanley Cup 4 times in only 5 years with the Canadiens.

Yet Dryden, Worsley, and Geoffrion all had love of the game of hockey, and love of our country, Canada, running through their veins. They all were studies in perseverance, dedication, and greatness.

The lesson I take from Lorne Worsley's lifestory is to chase your dream to the end, wherever it takes you.

Sometimes, as in the case of Dryden, one is blessed with a prodigal talent and steps into the right circumstance at the right time to use it to full effect. Sometimes, though, greatness is achieved, or finally recognized, simply by sticking around long enough.

Gump, you took each step, stop, and sidetrack along your way with good humour, and never lost faith in your quest. You drank from Lord Stanley's silver chalice years after most of us would have thrown in the towel.

Goodbye, and God Bless.

a couple new articles on indyish

2007-01-23T22:06:00.000-05:00

I’m quite proud of the Darryl Lenox comedy review. The Ken Dryden book review is not bad.

i had a weird roommate...

2007-01-23T21:55:00.000-05:00

[that's flatmate for those in the uk]

ok, nothing new in that but he really wuz weird.

he said he never asked gurls for their numbers. if they wanted to see him after talking to him a bit, he said he figured they'd ask. if he actually saw a gurl, he wouldn't ask to do something as a follow-up; same logic.
obviously he didn't see many gurls.

he told me this the first time we went for a beer too. well at least he was comfortable w who he wuz even if he wuz a freak.

he also told me once how he pretended to be gay to make some extra coin. no really. those clinical surveys at the back of freebie papers; he did those. apparently they pay real good for gays, cuz i guess there are less and they're more 'exotic' to study. anyway, i asked if he did the drug ones. no, he couldn't fake ever doing coke.
but apparently he could fake gay. interesting.

i know, you think he wuz gay. but here's what's weird - he had a gurl eventually.
'isn't she gorgeous?' he'd say as his eyes rolled in his head. truth is she was pretty ugly.
i was like, 'yeah, you're a lucky sonovagun, you!' cuz i really wuz happy for him.
i mean, she wuz still better looking than him, so he couldn't do better. he wuz lucky at all even.

he wuz also a smiths fan, but unlike most smiths fans, he wasn't boring in a pretentious arty way, he wuz just regular boring.
he wore golf shirts, sweat shirts, glasses, khakis, fatman jeans, he looked kinda preppy, except also middle aged cuz he wuz fat and pasty and acted all disheartened about everything except his 'gorgeous' girl.
he mighta been after the inheritance, come to think of it. apparently she had a house in orleans [upper middle class 'burb of ottawa, ontario] to herself and her sister cuz her folks moved away for a long time or were dead or something. maybe he had his eye on the kid sis, the sickie.

there's another weird thing about him, but it'll seem like a letdown after the other stuff. he considered himself a film buff. you know those guys who have 200 movies but they're all crap? he wuz worse then that, they were all crap -taped off city tv [a station notorious for crappy late-night movies]. no shit, i saw the blip of commercial break intro. i mean blip cause he had enough time on his hands to edit them out. i don't think he'd ever seen a black & white classic.

and his room smelled bad, and he had a weird skin rash that he slathered on smelly cream for, and he used to work as an airtraffic controler before he went back to school. other weird stuff i can't remember now. oh yeah, my alchy roommate almost kicked his ass once.

my alchy roommate, that's another fuckin story. ho boy.

maybe i'm writing all this to feel better about myself. maybe i just look sad. maybe my roommate right now is wondering why the fuck i'm still awake. none of yer business, ya bastard.
but man, the guy really wuz a freak.

love like a child

2007-01-23T21:53:00.000-05:00

love like a child
so pure
we luv it all so young so new
sunshine, insects, parents, life

so simple but it occured to me
when my niece gave me a finger painting
cuz she luvs her uncle dave

only question our instincts when
our hormones start to plug in

sex is confusion
all is fear and doubletalk when it enters the game

i try to recapture the novelty of life
to fuse sex & luv
in a moment
of magik

that's the butterfly we chase
thru early adulthood
maybe the rest of our lives

when u know what u want
w/out confusion
that's living each day w/out fear

& when u find it
that's the ultimate power

How we party in Montreal...

2007-01-23T21:52:00.000-05:00

Thunderheist, Saturday night: it went OFF!!!

Picture this:

Club Lambi, capacity 200, is a tossing jam-packed dance club from 11:30 til close (and turning away people by 12:15 -that's early in Mtl).
I'm down front in the fiery corporeal mélange of guy & gurl gay & straight multihued hotties shaking their sweating bodies, writhing like they're trying to slip outta their skins (and into someone else's). My Gay Husband is laying down some awesome beats, and my shirt is already plastered to my shoulders, pecs and ribs. The girl beside me is cookin' her light olive skin in her own juices, too. I can see droplets of her wetness shining like diamonds in the ringlets of her black hair. Her white cocktail dress is clinging from her buttermilk breasts to that undefined flesh between lower ass & upper thigh (where the roundness of buttcheek becomes a tapered narrowing straightaway down to the back of a trembling knee). She flings her Mediterranean mane and thick curls of night and a waterfall mist splash into my open mouth and run down my chin. Her dark chocolate eyes catch me licking her saltwater from my pouty lower lip.

Then Thunderheist (club beats hip-hop xplosion) hit it!
Plus the Peer Pressure afterparty...

n.p.: Stones Roses - I Am The Resurrection

My first comedy clip!

2007-01-13T20:47:00.000-05:00

This is the middle stretch of my set this past Wedneday, january 10th, 2007 at Yuk-Yuk's in Ottawa. Enjoy!

my family rocks cause we love each other

2007-01-03T18:42:00.000-05:00

"we have a good family"
my grandfather mumbled groggily to my
aunt as she said g'bye a few mos ago
on her way back out to Vancity

"I thought it was the last time I'd see him alive"
she said at Christmas
so did i

but he's beatin cancer
he's beatin chemo
no side effects
no codeine

unbelievable

he's eighty-six yrs old

i was gonna write something dumb like
'i hope i have half his balls when i'm half his age'
but i stop wonder do i have any at all
beside his still-immense shoulders broad chest huge heart
and under the dark shadow history threw across his years

i shouldn't be surprised he's winning again
he's jewish and he beat the nazis

i remember i once said firebombing hamburg sucked
he said not enough germans were killed in the war

and my german grandfather laughed ohohoho
he beat the nazis too
blew the bastards up after '22
but was smart enough to know when to get outta dodge

unbelievable

i pretend my life's a bit rough
i can't even fathom theirs

I love you Deda
I love you Granddad
My family is love

kickin tyres

2007-01-01T19:45:00.000-05:00

i spend my days kickin cars tyres
going here & there over hell’s half acre
tryin 'most anything out
(booze being my drug of choice; hetero being my sex by nature)
success is found by experimenting w failure

life’s not somethin you learn in a book
its out in the world & in under yer skin
its inside you, you inside it
feel it breath ingest pulse sweat move let it in

i wander thru alleys cause its another diversion
sometimes just cause i need to take a piss
i look up like i never seen a sky before
and if you do too you know clouds are different every time

then i wonder where that black bird will land
and hope i make it that far too

it wuz a good night

2007-01-01T17:44:00.000-05:00

whutta rush when u do it rite when it up cums together
u spend hrs craftin brunin the midnite lamp
u do
not braggin not romancin it just is the way

and so u work it work it work it babe
gimme gimme gimme fall flat on yer ass pick it up again

(u remember this blog back when "i screwed the pooch.... he is gonna get put back together again, better than ever"?)
even when i suk i believe man

an then u connect, it flows it feels goooood and relax
and they explode their mouths open eating up yer words
fukin right, Mick said it best it really is like a communal cum
laughter is so good fer the soul
i'm glad to give it
an i'm hooked on the drug, i cant quit anytime soon
dont know when ever will

tomorrow i got a hot date lined up
renewing my brit passport (cuz i gotta get back to spain already)
& i'm sending my poems to maisonneuve mag
(sat dumas concert, sun new years bro!)

it just keeps goin up from here baby up up up
even when i fall again i ll keep movin up
an if yer smart you'll cum by an catch part o the ride

that's it i'm finally gonna tryto sleeep

cant sleeeep

2007-01-01T17:42:00.000-05:00

arrrgh cant sleeep man cant
should i lissen to dumas or joseph nxt?
arthur it is

i gots nothin to do tomororow
so nothin its like noooo-thang

nothin to do but be alive
smile share laugh eat drink
keep each other warm yeah

a sure bet is my hands gettin cold out there
it finally feels like winter its finally white

i still don know if i can get my head around christ
like, god comin down in man form flesh n bone
its nice but i dunno, his only son flesh n bone

thats quite hard man
hard like love
thats why i guess its not meant to be easy
its hard like death n love n sex the way it should be

life aint easy why should god be right?

i dunno tho still cant believe it quite

but joseph makesme wanna believe
yes i do i wanna
i wanna be one i wanna be love

peace out world

i cant wont aint gonna stop

2007-01-01T17:38:00.000-05:00

i aint gonna stop demanding
i'm a demandng little fuk i want all the answers now
and tomorrow i'll have another head full of
questions to bounce off yer skull

i'll never stop non
cause to stop questioning is to be complacent
and to be complacent is to be dead
and i'm far from dead oh i'm very much alive babe

i never had a sister could that be why
lovers and friends but none of em felt that way
lovers often felt like a b-ball court
did she foul me or did i draw a charge?
(no refs but ourselfs)
pass you selfish fuker pass the ball
and sometimes they were i swear they
were on the opposing team

i see the appeal of drugs they dont let you down til yer too numb too know they fuked you anyway
some lovers r like that too actually

some friends almost too

but that makes me wnna get to the bottom more
an after all its just another shovel of dirt
a step into the grave
well ok but i aint takin it sittin down

questions man i need answers

questions

cause questioning is tryin
tryin is faith
its the people w all the answers that don't have
faith yeah thats right theyre cynics
thats one thing i do know
acting all big shot sneer they got us pegged
while a few of us poke around tryin not to be half-dead

the rest i aint figured out
maybe never will but why else would god make me a little
obnoxious dick
prob never find answers here to love life n death

but i'm tryin man i'm still askin
in the meantime d'ya wanna be my sister?

[the last line sux, but what the heck]

cant sleeeep

2006-12-29T16:20:00.000-05:00

arrrgh cant sleeep man cant
should i lissen to dumas or joseph nxt?
arthur it is

i gots nothin to do tomororow
so nothin its like noooo-thang

nothin to do but be alive
smile share laugh eat drink
keep each other warm yeah

a sure bet is my hands gettin cold out there
it finally feels like winter its finally white

i still don know if i can get my head around christ
like, god comin down in man form flesh n bone
its nice but i dunno, his only son flesh n bone

thats quite hard man
hard like love
thats why i guess its not meant to be easy
its hard like death n love n sex the way it should be

life aint easy why should god be right?

i dunno tho still cant believe it quite
literal not, fer shur

but joseph makesme wanna believe
yes i do i wanna
i wanna be one i wanna be love

peace out world

[originally posted at 3:22 a.m.]

it wuz a good night

2006-12-29T16:18:00.000-05:00

My Absolute Comedy debut in Ottawa

2006-12-29T16:15:00.001-05:00

I got back to Mtl a few hrs ago, tired now, so just read about it here or there, if you're interested in how it went.

In a word though, rockin'!

Cheers,
Dave

p.s. sorry, I don't usually kiss & tell, but it was kinda special.

n.p: nothing, but in my head, Joseph Arthur of course - I think uh, "Innocent World", yep. "dont run away, dont runaway, donrunaway now-ahow....'

p.p.s. The new Bond movie is the best in decades, at least Octopussy, perhaps since Connery, no shit.

I did spoken word (& ramble about being 30-something)

2006-12-19T19:23:00.000-05:00

'
Last night [well, Sunday night] at the indyish Holla Days party, I performed my poetry in public, for I think the first time ever.
I mean, I may have read my stuff to large-ish (dozen?) people in bars before, spontaneously just on the floor (without a mic), back my crazier ballsier, but certainly less wise early 20s. As I think I've mentioned here before, I only started writing poems again the last few weeks after writing next to none the last, geez, 7 or 8 years.

Btw, its good being 31. Its like, the ballsiness is back, with more depth and intent. I was talking about this with a new friend last night, how people seem to round a corner around ages 26-28. They become calmer, carry themselves with more confidence. Its like you realize life is long after all and it doesn't have to be all NOW! and you decide what's really worth spending time on, and drop the fake "one of the boys/girls" shit. Not that I ever was so much, trust me (or ask my old friends), but still who doesn't follow at times?

Even Bowie did synth-pop, the Stones did disco, and the Beatles tried early heavy metal, fer cryin out loud (ok, though again, Beatles were at least at same time -ok, so they didn't really follow -no wait! they followed the Maharishi! And he hit on their women friends (why they left), the giggling little perv. So there, Beatles followed false paths too. But I digress... Beatles are still fargin' genius!)

I dunno, this could be the same old "18yr olds were just kids when I was 22; 22 yr olds know shit when I was 27", but I really don't think so. I really believe in the quarter-life crisis; I'm not the only one its happened to.

You feel low, really low at 26-27, like shit I'm too old for these little girls dissing me, too old for school still, blah blah, but then one birthday it snaps and you look ahead instead of backwards, and realize you can have all -relate to youth & adults, figure out what'll make you happy, in my case move away from goddam deadsville...
Y'know?

But, yeah, back to spoken word.

So it was the first time I'd read my stuff.
I did 'freedom do you deserve...', 'permission', 'motives', 'meadows', and 'Freedom'. Some of those have been bumped down, but I didn't remove 'em, if you wanna read 'em, I think you can find them by subscribing to my blog [this refers to myspace.com blog, where I first posted this].
And it was to beats as well, supplied by Telefauna. I was so damn nervous, I brought my digital recorder (used for comedy), and forgot to turn it on. But a guy video taped a poem or two, got his card, so hopefully I'll get a clip (and put it up here? -if its okay).

But it went well. People liked it, got compliments after, the host was real surprised I was first-timer, she said it looked like I just went up there and did my thing.
And the boys slowed down the beats, cause unlike the other performers, I'm no rapper. Also, again cause of nerves, I didn't look at them at all, just held my paper and tried to read roughly to the beat. So they did real well, cause I didn't cue them at all.

And I'm hooked. Damn it. No it's great, but... well, I spend like 2-3 nights a week at comedy shows already, then What's Cookin Mtl at Korova most Fridays, then uh, lotsa other quality time at Korova, Biftek, La Verre Bouteille, L'Esco, etc. haha.
When on earth am I gonna have time to get into the spoken word scene? Well, I guess I won't get 'in the scene' like comedy, but still keepin an ear to the ground takes effort -then again, that's the beauty of myspace, added the other performers as friends, and can check their pages for stages.

Ok, long post, thanks if you read it all.
Bottom line: fear not the big three-oh, and last night was an awesome party.

Cheers,
Dave

n.p: Joseph Arthur -Echo Park
The fire never understands the spark / the way it is with you & me
Freedom / Freedom / Our love won't fade away

bad hip-hop

2006-12-15T20:23:00.000-05:00

yer a snake in tha grass
i'll shove my boot up
yer mothafukin ass

i wrote this note / in the hope / it was dope /
but now i know / it just blows

[like it sezs, this is bad; i just posted it cuz mutley likes the lyrics -what the hey]

thank u

2006-12-15T18:47:00.000-05:00

i aint gonna lie, u made me cry
but now i washed you away too
u were brought to me to
crack me open like an oyster
& help me purge the shit from my soul

well ok its still there
but i can contain
its somewhere safe
u’r somewhere gone

i thank u

stupid game

2006-12-15T18:44:00.000-05:00

as i entered u looked right at me,
yeah i mean u blondie
u looked good & long

so i raised my glass, slight smile
nodded hey
unimpressed, u looked away

happens all the time, but i don’t
know wtf its all about

but i met daniella later,
so fuk u

talkin to daniella, a brazilian girl

2006-12-15T18:40:00.000-05:00

she told me the girls are dif here
(just her opinion but)
they dance like they show too much
like then they dont get respect

"see a woman should never be like that"
she said as a girl hung her head thru her knees
to vomit in the curb

she's right
we're broken
something broke a while ago
when we see that an' kinda go, oh geez ho-hum
(i dont just take her word, seen the dif in spain)

but she still loved the city
& the girl’s friends were helpin her out

then a couple guys knocked over a garbage bin
& kicked the crap in big sweeping scattering kicks
towards the girls eating their chow mein

ache

2006-12-11T19:46:00.000-05:00

all this restless
my bones are mine alone
& they feel so

if my heart is a vessel for love
why does my head just fuck it up

all at once so tired & awake
& all I feel indescribable feeling
except to want

...something...
....do you....?

the problem with the world is

2006-12-11T19:42:00.000-05:00

overthinking & underdreaming

we think big
then compromise compromise compromise
try to make it happen
then plan plan plan

oh sure you need a path
but blueprint's a box-in

we'd dream we'd ponder what we want
but too busy working to get a start

shards of winter

2006-12-08T19:00:00.000-05:00

winter is shards
piercing our senses

cold burnt lung pink
glacial shelves, frozen turd clumps, & gravel that always
infests the crunch of yr boots
Xmas lights glare gullible retail cheer
thru the premature darkness
spectral trees huge hangdog bluesmen of the boreal
(they wave 'em like they just don't cay-re,
'til an icy bough breaks in yo' face!)
cars that are invisible 'til you find
yrself on the wrong end of their interrogating headlights
& faces thru the windshield weary & impatient
wondering who will make the first move

shuffle thru another urban tundra
howling broken & barren needles

a season designed to break yr heart
that slowly hardens a northern soul

meadows

2006-12-07T20:18:00.000-05:00

you were running laughing coming up fast
pinned me down ferocious love beast mama
rolling goosebump meadows
butterfly eyes
gazelle muscle
tiger fur
cresting, looming, open, ah

yr fingernails dug into my shoulders
my ear in yr jaw
my throat in yr claw
as blades of grass
tickled my ass

wind quickened our hard nipples
and i felt how fortunate
to be yr prey

Remembering the victims of Dec 6th, 1989.

2006-12-07T20:15:00.000-05:00

I wrote this article yesterday for indyish.

You can read other things I've written here.

my problem is

2006-12-07T19:51:00.000-05:00

confusing obsession with emotion

thinking too much then feelin it out
is obsession with openness just a way of hidin too
exagerate emotion to confuse?

dunno its how i've always been
i'm tryin to figure out this life
tryin to make some peace between my heart & my head & the outside whirld

impulsiveness is my drug
- love it or leave it
(they mostly leave)

3 shorts

2006-12-07T19:17:00.000-05:00

purrfect evening

she was frisky & delicious
as i opened her whiskas

slowly & softly i started to deliver
then she up and jumped my trigger
who sez man's appetite is bigger?

love v. fear

i know, i know
hushhhhhhh (my breath yr breast)
its too early to know
too soon to insist
too young to dismiss
stay here lets enjoy our bliss

craving

when you come home hungry
when you wake up hungry
when you dream hungry
when you everymoment hungry
you ain't hungry for food, dude!

stardom

2006-12-07T19:14:00.000-05:00

Let's build a treehouse
name it after you & me
a paperpiratehat factory
chase butterflies and observe the bees
Just you & me and four skinned knees

I still got scars from the time I stole third,
slid headfirst, on a gravel diamond
Slid into the throw too, as it bounced off my cap
and down the rf line
I hopped up and crossed the plate
had just begun to celebrate
when my gf in the stands exclaimed
only then looked down felt the hobbling pain

Oh yes I was the Charlie Hustle of Parkwood Hills softball

written with fridge magnets, i think its not bad tho

2006-12-07T19:12:00.000-05:00

enlace
ton
monde
d' mille
aventure

(the "s" magnets ran out)

[N.B.: The last of the spontaneous poems from Saturday (the rest are below). Yeah, I was running outta ideas.
Btw, these poems were inspired by the myspace blog of Joseph Arthur, a brilliant artist, visually, musically, and poetically.]

so close

2006-12-07T19:09:00.000-05:00

oh yes i was tempted to give up
to follow formulas
to worship false idols
to play games

but can honestly say i never did

cuz formulas are for frauds
idols for the unquestioning
games make losers of us all

i can honestly say that every day
i chose to be my own man

independence / walk away

2006-12-07T19:04:00.001-05:00

i've tried so hard so please you
and only fallen further behind from the stress
the lifetime of being told i'm smart
and knowing i'm even smarter than you can imagine
(oh yes i've got a big head should come as no surprise)
people telling me i've such potential
and all i think is they want me to follow their dreams

i cant
i wont

no i'm not ungrateful
how my father prayed at my bedside that i'd live
how my pain is my mother's

how i wish for them and for my brothers and others
but now i hafta wish for myself

cuz thirty-one is a pretty decent number
and yes death will catch me when i let go of my youthful bravado

but for now hold on
i must forge my own path now til infinity

enough bout death, my lover, let's

2006-12-07T19:02:00.000-05:00

hold yr head kiss yr neck
you mine yes

this is good
don't fear child
run wild

yr stickysweetness tasteodouroverwhelms i love how
yr syrup drips down my chin like a caramilk
tiny morsels at a time slowwwwly creamy

um. yum. yes.

i'd say to death...

2006-12-07T19:00:00.000-05:00

hey shoot that mofo
cause he's my homedog, y'all recall

and he'd do it
cuz he's that weak

but i wouldn't
i wouldn't turn death on woman or man unless they tried turning him on me

i'd rather distract him w garbagecan drivebys
and laff at what a sad sad dick death truly is
drunk on his own power but not over me

motives

2006-12-07T18:58:00.002-05:00

Do you need religion out of fear?
assurances of love you miss here
comfort that yr nomatterhow will serve some purpose

i've seen death cheated the bastarad he ain't hard
i'm a true dog he's just ridin shotgun w me at the wheel
fuck you death

you swung yr sickle over my hostipal bed so many times
and i always laffed goddamit laffed in yr face
you don't scare you can only come when i beckon when i stop kicking life in the nuts

why i don't need religion
if religion is largely comfort in death

but yes religion is love and love is my religion
most dayze anyways

(i meant to write death between yr & nomatterhow,
now i realize its more true like that - life death all nomatterhow, infinite)

Freedom

2006-12-07T18:58:00.001-05:00

Freedom Freedom Freedom

i have found you sweet naked angel
god i love life

yes, you are worthy of a capital F, Freedom
but am i worthy of you?
let it prove it to you every day

so insane how i nearly threw you away

please forgive me
let me be mine and give give give
Courage yessssss and Love

permission

2006-12-07T18:57:00.001-05:00

can i dance on yr head
can i be more than a friend
can i twist yr arm behind yr back
playful only honest
justa tease of hurt
cuz i could not hurt you tis true
but a wanna make you sqwirm
i wanna fuck yr mind like a worm
and slip into you like silk

what i'd do

2006-12-07T18:56:00.000-05:00

You

over and over na doeverandoverandoeevr
yyesssssssssssssssssss

.....

2006-12-07T18:48:00.001-05:00

i should alwys wirte this way
only way to be to flow free
i haven never felt this way this space
except in th infinite yr embrace

freedom do you deserve a capital f do you deserve our blood

2006-12-07T18:44:00.000-05:00

What is freedom?
the freer we are the more we fear

What is freedom but another commodity
another indulgence in porndrinkdrugsmoneyrollingthedie
actingtoughhardtogetdontcallmeimfreetoignorethegiftoflove

Free to follow our old routine
pour another day down the drain
whre's the change

what is this my life
what is a world
a playground?

So play around
you're free to fuck to drunk to run away full of fear
to look away from my eyes to only make contact when yrs are full of steel

And each street I know I walk a million times
Oh but I'm free
I am
I'm gonna gorge me a greasy one right now
why are my dreams confined to a tin foil box?

why shine blinking a newborn chivering at the fear of freedom's possibilites
never guessing myslf
i should move
freedom is truly a torch from flailing hands
a light a gift this life my love

a gift from those who couldn't be free
or were they most of all -giving ever so selflessly
freedom is courage

where is mine

Funny we re afraid

2006-12-07T18:34:00.000-05:00

I decided to share myself w you
to share my nudity my inner whirld
Funny how we're so afraid of nudity
No not the kind we understyand
-sexmoneyfamecelebritymotives
The kind that comes unexplained
except to say hello
The kind that only breaks the wall bonds the soul
what leaves nothing to be explained

I wrote this dierekt on my blog
no edit except spelling
this is life in real time
becuz its true I wanna be w you

[N.B.: This is the first of a series of poems that came forth and I wrote on my myspace blog spontaneously and unedited. Also, the most poems I'd written in years. Explanation if you think they blow.]